Monday...The 26th of July

Today started out good, I woke up at 10 am after going to sleep at 3 am. Daddy had homemade waffles ready. After we ate we went grocery shopping, then came home so Harley could go spend the night at his friends house. After he left we went and got all of our school supplies. It took me an hour to get mine and Harley's stuff all sorted out and ready to be taken to school. i had to sharpen 60 pencils for him. Ugh it was horrible. : ) But I texted my friends the whole time : ) Then I read an email I got.... and I just had this feeling that it wasnt right. That something was wrong with what was going on. Maybe he was lying or maybe I messed up destiny when I waltzed into his life. But all I know now is that I'm never going to see him, at least not for four years. And what if he finally decides that I'm not who he thought I was????? What if he meets me in 4 years and all of a sudden he's like "What was I thinking I don't like her worth a darn. She's not at all who I thought she would be. Wow big mistake." I know that I love him and I just don't want to disappoint him. i'm scared of him yet I can't breath without knowing that if I need him alls I have to do is Email him and He'll help me to the best of his ability. So why am i pushing him away??? Wow. Epiphany...I need to let him decide and I'm just being self concious. See I told you blogging helps me ; )

So SemSem....

I'm sorry I said what I did to you on that last email. I want you to know that I love you. I don't know why and I don't know how it happened, but I really think I do love you. And I am sorry about that thing that happened with that girl. I have no idea why she would ever do that to you because you are an amazing guy and anyone would be lucky to have and i'm happy that I do. Or at least I think I do. You keep saying I'm all yours. And I am. Forever. This is the reason that everytime I talk to another guy I don't feel anything like attraction. or when a guy i have liked for years finally asks me out I say no because all of a sudden I don't want to date any guy but you. And when i was going out with Jacob I knew there was something wrong. i actually called him by your name once. Well that's how I feel. So yeah : )


Love Always to everyone...

Miss. Slim